And Then.

I wish there was that one person in my life I could simply take for granted. I could be the unthinking bitch speaking out things in the crudest rawest terms and the person would take it all and still be there with me.

I always wish I could sell what ever I have, and go back to that day and age when one anna was a luxury.
I won't have to work and toil.
I won't be stricken by the advent of the temptations of this globalized day and age.

I wish there was an actual escape from the harsh realities in the world.
That secret haven to find solace and rest, something not as permanent as death.
The haven where I could come back from. And feel the rejuvenation.

I wish I could make you happy, be the one who completes you. Be the one you are content with. Be the one who's your haven.

I do wonder...if it's too much to be asking for. Too much to want. Too much to need.

The answer is always 'no'.
I'm just wanting a Grecian symmetry to life. A harmony, with nothing wrong.

I'm just, in my own way, seeking happiness , in the way I see happiness.

and then, it also occurs, "Perfect" is too much to ask for.

Confused Affairs.

There are many dumb ways in which people behave when confronted with the one person they want to have in their lives. They could blush furiously, become as tongue tied as the earphones that come out of your pocket, or just blabber.

But, I had the the opportunity to meet a girl, who when confronted by her Mr. Perfect, makes him feel like the biggest burden in her life, the one hurdle she wants to walk over, the one person she does not want to see, when everything she feels for him is exact opposite.

She will go to great lengths to achieve the feat. She won't talk, or even look at the guy. He, who is the cause of the biggest absent mindedness of her life would become the one guy who'd feel that he would give away anything to be anywhere else!
And it does not stop there! She would, and she will take a flight the moment she sees him approach. The most recent one being that she liked a guy, to whom she made known her feelings, with the very finality that she won't meet him again (beat that). And as fate would have it, she did see him a year later in the most unexpected circumstances. I had difficulty digesting what she did next...she took of the heels she was wearing, and ran. Right in front of his eyes!

Now the narrative is not to poke fun at anybody. But just a wondering thought, that if everything is planned in the sub-conscience, then are we actually using that part of our senses to bring misery into our lives?

Why in hell's name would one want to antagonize the person one loves?

And why the hell do we more often than not consider ourselves not worthy for the person we love?

And some questions that always haunt me are that why are we so complicated? Why can't we just tell some people that we love them and be done with it and not care what happens next? Why do we have to be such egoistic fiends and care about the outcomes and the blow to our pride it will cause?

Why can't life simply be perfect?

And then the answer that always comes to me is, predictability is so very dull. Don't you think?