ANGRY angry ponder.

Now see, I have always been a self proclaimed coward. 

And I always need something to blame things on when I'm not right.

And since it is my life, things are never right. I am tired of always joking about it. I mean, duh(I never use that word. I hate it. I also hate LOL. Disgusting they sound to me. But hey, circumstance is the villain.) for once I could I just ask, if I may, Divine Providence for an intervention and just let me have a normal, calm, boring, monotonous life?!

I don't want to attract screwed up people.

I don't want to have to suffer from intensive hatred disorder.

I don't want everyone I know getting ahead of me. And I don't want to be bothered if they do. Duh. (There it is again.)

I don't want to be insecure when I feel someone is ignoring me.

I want to be a calm, composed, self sufficient, lonesome individual. I want to be me and love myself.

I don't want to be too scared to dream and think myself incapable. I don't want to be scared of taking that leap of faith. I know everybody is, but believe me, mine is abnormally bad.

I want peace and quiet. I want to just relax. Be at rest.

Really, is that too much to ask for. Can't I just live?