I want to sit back with a glass of wine, preferably red, and look back at my  life. I want to be in my balcony and look out at the sea...I want to feel its vastness within me. I want to feel in that moment the eternity we live in this short life.

I want to count the chances I missed, people I've lost, all the heartbreaks that made me after shattering me a bit every time.
I want to feel the wind against my face and in it taste the freedom I have earned- the independence from all the encroaching proprieties that held me back.
I want to sit back and ponder how human I am, and the times I have easily shut down my conscience to go forth and grab what belonged to another. I want to count off the people I cheated. I want to see if knowing it all would tear me apart with remorse or would I just shrug it off.

I want to lean into the sound of the waves lapping at each other...and reach out to that life force that sustained me all the while through thick and thin.
At last, I want to reach out to that peaceful bliss, delve deeper into its solace of unrestricted, unhindered, irrevocable sleep.

I want to be at rest, at last. Eternally.
It is not death that I wish for, but a serene sense of calm in which I can hold myself together and claim my life for my own, with all its mistakes and shortcomings, and all the sorrows that it brings with it.

I want to say with complete dignity, I am Me. And I love every moment of it.