Calming down the Mangled.

Shirking from memories.
Not just your own.
Sealed in a smile of a photograph, thoughts that come back to life.
Is this sense of possession a road to misery?
Is this need to belong deplorable?
Is this urge of submission dangerous?
If so, then why do I see at the end of this misery, this deplorable road, this danger,
A light so bright. Engulfing my doubts, smothering my pain, blowing away the scars that have been torn open time and again.
Even if its so, I will live in it.
Let itself wrap around me.
If it comes to an end,
Then in the memories, not just my own, I will live those moments again.

Piercing the Bubble of Pain

OK. So we all enter relationships. Fall in and out of love. But along the lane meet a person, one special person, who leaves a permanent mark, like permanent footprints on the shore of our hearts. And that is the time we realize that we have fallen completely in love for the first time. And if it happens that we have to leave, we will have the hardest time falling out of love.
It will amaze us that we will still respect the relationship we had with the person. We won't resort to cheap means to gain our nerves. There will be times when with friends, tears will form on their accord, nights will be disturbed and sleepless, loneliness will engulf you even in the midst of a crowd. That is because the crowd, the people, the friends- nothing will have a meaning. The person who did mean the world, the most, who meant everything to you, is no longer yours to call.
To have loved, to have been held, to have cried in each others arms, to have been totally and completely honest, to have given it your all, to have built dreams, and then to see it all fall... that's the worst that can happen to anybody.
They say that "To have loved and lost is better than not to have loved at all". But I guess they forgot to add that to have loved, and lost is the worst pain one can endure.
So if you love someone, take care, be brave, think, talk, make changes, tell each other their flaws and work on it soon-before its too late.
Because nobody can understand your pain, the pain of losing your love. They would just ask you to move on, or may say that time will heal your wounds. Well, moving on does not happen, neither does time heal the wounds. What happens is that you numb yourself to the pain inside, you become immune to the lump that forms in your throat, ignore the burning of your insides.
What will make you smile, after a long long time, is the love you were lucky to have. The assured protection, the promise of being there for each other. A person who was there when the world turned against you. The only person who understood you. The only one you let to understand your thoughts, emotions and feelings.
And you will live in those memories. You will learn how to. That is what time will teach you, to not to cry, But to smile and bless the person who taught you one lesson, perhaps the only valuable lesson in life, The lesson of loving without boundaries.
And you will live. On that love you received, you will live.

And this is for the love I had.
Take care my love. And be happy. I failed you. And I hope wish and pray there is someone out there to give you all the happiness I could not give you.
Be happy. Be blessed.
And remember that I will always love you.

Peace.

Feel It?

Now how would you feel if you're ostracized for honesty?
That churning if the insides when you see the person who's the liar in vision take all the glory? That turning of your stomach when you know the worse things that very person has done but you choose to quiet because you want a difference between the person and you? And you know that if you speak up, ostracism would be their cup of tea?
It feels miserable. You feel feeble inside. Alone and disturbed wondering what went wrong. You wonder if Dishonesty is actually a way out. It hurts your very being because in a whole new place you had just begun to be friends with a whole new set of people..Who you now realize weren't worth the affection or place in your life.
But in the end it passes. Every turn in life is a lesson learnt. It might seem like a totally cliched dialogue but believe you me that the people who you had this way, giving so much pain, are not worth it. Nobody who doesn't understand honesty is worth it. And worse are those who understand and still keep their traps shut to stay in the good books. And good books of those who have no idea of what exactly "good" is.
So, in the end, its better to leave it and move on. Life is too short to crib about those who have the least bit of morals or character. Double faced bitches are cowards who can't say it out. Or Just too mean to be human. All they need is "oh please be with me I need attention". Nothing can be done about those conniving little liars.
So show them the finger and tell them to get a life.
If they lost you and you're real and right, boy! What could be better for you and worse for them!?!
That's all you would ever need: staying true to yourself. Because at the end of the day, its you and your conscience. And if that gives you a tough time, you're ruined. Truth is all you need. Rest can rot in the hell.

Peace.

Things I wont Ever do to My Kids.

1. I wont ever…EVER force them into a career option of my choice…dramatically speaking, “live my dreams through them.”
2. Keep them back at home…forcefully during school trips.
3. Restrain them from talking to people of the opposite sex.
4. Force them to study…if they flunk, let them learn from their doings.
5. I won’t impose any particular style of dressing or impose a certain haircut.
6. Disallow late nights. (Not every night shall be a late night though.)
7. I WON’T peep into the monitor while they read their mails.
8. Read their diary in case they keep one.
9. I won’t act crazy if they turn out to be gay.
10. Hinder their freedom.
11. Freak out if they use words like, “sexy” and “hot.”
12. Limit their phone calls to “2 in a month.”
13. Discourage individualism, wildness, weirdness or craziness.
14. Restrain them from hugging their friends. Duh!
15. Snatch away the pleasure of living like hippies.
16. Disallow piercings.


PEACE

This too Shall Pass.

It was a phase in life...so beautiful..but as painful
All the cherished moments have been locked, saved in a special corner deep inside
No more do i feel the agony curbing me down,
Not that im numb to it..but have learned to face life with it
There are days i feel myself breaking...moments of sheer agony..
But i know...like all the other sorrows in life...
This too shall pass...this too shall pass..

17 Things I would have loved to Say on my Grad-day. :D

1. We know we’re supposed to tie our salwars above what “you” call the waistline…but our comfort level matters a little more than your concerns, thank you.
2. We’re not supposed to apply kajal “before” coming to school, but not a day before that chore. Be thankful we’re on time, we have trouble enough catching the bus in the morning…how do you expect us to sit and remove eye-make up???!!!
3. We say “sorry”, to you teachers, just to appease you.
4. The fact that we talk in class does not mean we’re gossiping. Most of the time we’re bitching about you, “dear” teacher.
5. Passport size photographs are supposed to show our bright and beautiful young faces. How do we make you understand that Vaseline is “NOT” making up!
6. In continuation with point 5. We apply Vaseline and lip-balms in winters. That’s not… NOT make up! Else half the guys on the planet would be gay!
7. We say “hi” to our acquaintances in Columba’s. They’re NOT our boyfriends!
8. There’s a definite place (by current standards) and length (again by current standards) for the skirt. It’s a “skirt” and not a ghagra for heavens sake!
9. We smile; you say we giggle during the class. We don’t; you call us grumpy. Kindly decide and tell us at the earliest, “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?”
10. We surely have a life beyond the walls of the classroom and boundaries of the school. And also, the fact that we own a cell phone “does not” mean we’re guy-ing (c’mon! you’re smart enough to guess what I mean!)
11. Our running in the corridor, sitting without crossing our ankles, calling each other by sir-names, giving hi-5’s, and giving birthday bumps (tired. Add the rest yourself) does not mean we’re “unladylike”. Go refresh your dictionary.
12. I will hug my male/female/others, friends. That does not make me gay/committed/other.
13. Hey! The fact that you’re sexually frustrated for so many god forsaken reasons does not mean you’ll vent it out on us!
14. Our sense of dressing “outside” the school is a matter of personal choice. Keep your opinions to yourself.
15. The fact that we re-tie our hair in the class room does not men we are beautifying ourselves. We’re doing you a favor by looking presentable by “your” standards. Respect that.
16. Thanks by the way for removing the hair band. They sure were a pain in the butt!
17. Let that poor (a synonym for what you’d call “privileged”) student council live! Credit them for all the work they do. They deserve it more than many (not all) of you put together.

Issued in C.J.M. INTEREST.

Point Blank

It’s quite strange how life can swing you from utmost misery to a cup overflowing with joy. It’s even hilarious. Sometimes you give some people so much love and you’re taken like some old piece of rag, what’s worse is that you continue to love. And you finally call it a shot not because you don’t want to love them but because you want to save yourself that sliver self respect and dignity. It’s actually hilariously strange and ironical.
Look around for that handful of people who do not treat you like that, (I quote an elder) “public property that can be picked up and dropped off at any time they feel convenient.” They actually are a handful, value them.
And of course there’s no dearth of those #$%^ ^&%%$% !@@#$%^& who’ll never realize the fight you put up for them, the things you go through and the value of “YOU”. Your love of course is understandable (I know coz I’ve been there) but dude, a shift in priorities is a high time demand of the situation. I’m sure there are many out there hurling hurt remarks at you, but you just can’t avoid them due to various reasons (e.g. relatives-the irritating kinds). But there are those you can stop adding to your list by “acting” intelligent. They are those who’ll never believe your truths and when it comes to lies… (May be you haven’t said any) well, no comments.
I have gained yet another piece of knowledge, an ounce of wisdom- give it your all till it hurts, and the moment it hurts…stop giving altogether. Point blank.